


Put your lips on my scars and teach me to love

by AltanHal



Series: You desired my attention but denied my affections [2]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, First Meetings, M/M, Mild Language, SeKen layag, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, cigarette use, stell josh and justin ships it, they like each other but they don't know it yet, wherein Sejun and Ken are idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25030198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltanHal/pseuds/AltanHal
Summary: Josh says something that's too low to hear so Ken tries to move closer to him to catch the words better."Ha?"The words don't reach Josh because a guy just walked in between them."Hakdog." Sejun says to his face before moving on, and Ken—he sees red."Eh gago ka pala eh!"---SeKen AU wherein your soulmate's first words to you are written on your skin when you turn 21.
Relationships: John Paulo Nase | Sejun/Felip Jhon Suson | Ken
Series: You desired my attention but denied my affections [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812583
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15





	1. Sejun: Prologue

**++++**

Sejun doesn't understand why such words appeared on his skin. It's a five word sentence, wrapped around his right wrist in incredibly tiny letters. A little hard to read since it's written in a handwriting akin to chicken scratch. The words are a pale orange, almost blending into his skin and quite unreadable unless given scrutiny.

He doesn't understand it, well; he _does_ know why they're there and what it means. It's a soulmark, a sign that there's someone out there for him. But he cannot comprehend why his soulmate would be quite rude to him upon their first meeting. 

It puts a damper on his mood especially now that it's his 21st birthday. He expected something sweet and kind like _nice to meet you_ , or even something a little vague and general like _hello_. But these words branded on him by fate mocks him as if telling him that he'll be a sour angry guy by the time he meets his soulmate, if the words are any indication.

He may have a resting bitch face but he has _never_ been rude to anyone he meets, so why this soulmate of his would curse him like this is way beyond him.

Sighing, he wrings his wrist with the soulmark and promises to be polite to whomever he meets. The words are seared onto his mind already so even if he doesn't look at it, he can still see it clear as day behind his eyelids, the pale orange already his most hated color.

**_e h g a g o k a p a l a eh_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welcome to yet another soulmate AU of mine! Feat. SeKen! Since the previous soulmate au was bittersweet, I decided to make one that's completely all for fun and giggles. I haven't finished this yet, hopefully I can finish this without any long breaks in between updates. Actually, the whole fic is supposed to be a oneshot but it's grown too long for it to be published as one without readers being scared off by the word count in just one chapter. So, here I've cut it into chapters. Honestly, the whole fic is about 70% finished (rold give me the steam to finish this!!!).
> 
> Please enjoy and tell me what you think! Thank you for reading!
> 
> -ali_nasejun


	2. Ken: Hakdog

**++++**

Ken is called back by the company that he auditioned for. He expected it because he believes in himself and his talents, but it's surprisingly. . . unexpected still. There was a small part of him, a teeny tiny part that thought he wouldn't make it so there's still that same old doubt, but in the end, that little nugget of worry passes. 

In the morning a day before his 21st birthday, he flies for Manila. It's an opportunity he can't let go so despite his impending birthday that only a handful of people ever celebrate back home, he follows his dreams and his dreams lead to Makati.

There's only one person he knows in the company, it's the same person who recruited him. Directly from the airport and with his duffel bag in hand, he arrives at the company address looking a little sheepish and awkward as he stands at the gates, asking the guard if he was in the right place.

Ken receives a text from his recruiter telling him to just walk right in. He's a little self-conscious of how he's acting at the moment. Afraid that he's being judged and observed even before entering the premises. Finally gaining the confidence, he does as told and tries to spot his friend among the staff.

He spots a guy dancing in the studio and recognizes him immediately.

"Josh!" Ken calls and said guy stops to eye him.

Recognition sets in and Josh's face lights up.

"Ken! Ken! Pasok ka," Josh tells him and he steps inside the studio.

"Ahh, nag pa-practice ba kayo?" Ken asks as he is lead further inside.

"Onting practice for fun lang since busy mag accept ng auditionees ngayong araw."

He spots three other men in the doorway of another room but they pay him no mind, too busy talking with each other so he doesn't bother with greeting them. Josh introduces him to some of the staff, Ate Rappl, and Ate Anne. He tells the dancer that Ms. Hong, their teacher, and Sir Robin, their CEO is judging an auditionee at the moment so he has to wait for a little while.

Ken doesn't mind because their studio looks amazing with the eggshell white walls and roof length mirrors. It's aesthetically pleasing and he wonders if this is where he'll have to perform his piece. Excited to perform and show them what he's got, he turns to Josh with a question.

"Dre, pwede maki-practice? Sabay lang sayo, onting warm-up na din para sakin," he asks the rapper and Josh grins at that.

"Oo! Pwedeng pwede. Tara dun tayo sa side na yon," Josh agrees and beckons for him to follow.

Ken drops his bag against the wall as Josh sets up their music. Adjusting his clothes and tying his shoes tight, Ken waits for it to play.

Josh picks a song and Ken feels it flow in his veins, rousing his spirit that's borne of the art of dance.

_River_ by Bishop Briggs echoes in the studio and Josh aligns himself beside Ken. The dancer doesn't move yet, observing Josh as he dances. It seems that Josh has choreographed the chorus part and Ken is amazed at how full of popping energy each move Josh makes. He wonders if his own style of dancing would stand up to the challenge.

The bridge comes up and this is where Ken's soul lunges forth.

He dances. Just his usual way of dancing. The flow and strength restrained and controlled matches with the beat and he feels sinuous with the song. There's no adrenaline yet because it's only a warm-up but he knows in every line he makes that the way he dances is breathtaking.

It's not about bragging what he can do, it's about _knowing_ his strength, and _that_ strength is his body beautifully moving from one way to another. It's the way he dances, the way he moves. He is certain in his own body that he does it _very_ well.

The music finishes and with it, Ken's warm-up. He looks to Josh ready to be made fun of, but Josh's face is in a satisfied smile and it makes Ken smile back.

"Ang galing nya, Sejun," he hears one of the three guys from earlier say so he glances at the guy and sees the mole on his cheek. Ken smiles gratefully at Mole guy for the complement and sees him blush.

Ken turns to look back at Josh who's already picking another song.

"Isa pa?" Josh asks and the dancer nods at him. "Anong song gusto mo?"

"May GOT7 Fly ba jan?" Ken replies immediately. Eager to dance to one of his favorites.

"Meron, meron."

The song starts and Josh moves to the side to allow Ken to dance on his own.

He dances. Does every step with his heart, and just for a little practice, he does several flips. He hears one of the three guys exclaim _oohs_ and _wows,_ and it gives him a little bit of gratification for his efforts.

All too fast, the music stops and Ken is left standing a little winded by the dance and flips, but otherwise he feels good enough to do the actual audition.

"Oo nga, Stell, ang galing galing nya. Pasok sya sigurado!" The tallest of the three guys says and Ken feels a shy grin spread on his face.

"Ano masasabi mo, Sejun?" He doesn't see it but Ken is sure that it's Mole guy speaking.

"Ok lang," comes the answer of this Sejun guy and Ken feels a little hurt by that _ok lang_.

He's not sure why the opinion of this Sejun guy feels a little weighty for him but Ken feels like he's up for the challenge. He turns to Josh again and Josh already knows what he's going to say.

"Kanta ka?"

"Oo."

"Yown. Ano gusto mo kantahin?"

"Location, Khalid."

"Nice. Teka hanap ako sa YouTube off vocal nyan."

Josh goes down to business and Ken retrieves his bag from the corner, searching for his water bottle. He rummages his bag but his little bottle bought from the airport is nowhere inside. He sighs, dropping his bag back onto the floor.

"Ken, ready na?" Josh calls him and the dancer decides to practice his piece even without having a drink.

Roguishly, he glances at the Sejun guy who's watching him with indifference. It irks him a little that this one guy out of three seems unimpressed with him.

He turns his gaze resolutely in front and decides to _show_ him what he can do.

" _Send me your location. . ._ "

**++++**

Maybe he should have asked Josh for a glass of water before singing his piece. It could have been more favorable if he did but all in all, he did quite well except for that _one_ flaw in his practice.

His voice had _cracked_ right at the end of it and he couldn't help his eyes from darting to Sejun for his reaction. The dip of his brows and the frown on his face was all it took for Ken to lose a huge chunk of his confidence.

"Still better than me," the tallest guy says after.

"Gusto ko yung low notes nya," Mole guy echoes.

But there's nothing from Sejun and that's what irritates Ken.

He feels a hand land on his shoulder and he shrugs it off.

"Pasok ka nyan for sure," he hears Josh say sincerely but it doesn't console him.

"Sana," he croaks. His throat is parched; the thirst has finally caught up to him. "Josh, tubig?"

"Dito, dito. May dispenser dito," Josh tells him as he follows to another room.

They pass by the three guys and Ken stares determinedly at Josh's head, unwilling to glance their way and accidentally see that frown on Sejun's face again.

Josh hands him a cup as they enter the room and gestures for the water dispenser. 

"Thank you," Ken nods at him, drinking his fill.

Once done, he follows Josh out of the room to the studio. Josh says something that's too low to hear so Ken tries to move closer to him to catch the words better.

"Ha?"

The words don't reach Josh because a guy just walked in between them.

" _Hakdog._ " Sejun says to his face before moving on, and Ken—he sees _red_.

"Eh gago ka pala eh!" He steps towards Sejun whose back is turned to him.

Sejun just stands there, frozen on the spot, not even looking back at him.

"Ano?! Wala naman akong ginagawa sayo tapos sasagutin mo ko ng ganon? Bastos mo dre!" Ken shouts at him and he feels Josh tug on his arm telling him to stop.

Sejun finally turns to him, glare very prominent and mouth in a hard line.

"Ako, bastos? Minumura ba kita?" Sejun fires back, and Mole guy and that tall guy arrive to try and pull him away.

"Ken awat na, awat na," Josh tells the dancer and Ken tries to break free from Josh's grip. Despite being smaller, Josh pulls him away with surprising strength.

"Sejun tama na," Mole guy entreats. "Tama na."

"Wag mo na awayin, Sejun," the tall guy says but Sejun doesn't back down.

His eyes bore into Ken with intensity and something the dancer can't quite figure out, so Ken glares back just as fiercely.

He's about to spit a retort but Sejun beats him to it.

"Ilan taon ka na?" Sejun asks, not angrily, not indifferently, but softly—and Ken is caught off guard by that.

" _Ano_?"

"Ilan taon ka na?" Sejun reiterates as soft as the first time, sounding almost patient.

"Bente, bakit?" Ken goads and sees the way Sejun blink slowly and then sigh.

"Wala. Sorry," Sejun answers, shaking his head. "Sorry."

And with that, Sejun turns away, exiting the studio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So can y'all guess what Ken's soulmark would be? =">


	3. Sejun: Cigarette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: CIGARETTE USE.

_Bente, bakit?_

_Bente, bakit?_

Bente, bakit?

It plays in his mind like a broken record player. Sejun feels lost and in a staggering state of disbelief. That guy, the dancer, is his soulmate and said guy doesn't even know it yet.

What did he say to him again? Oh, right.

_Hakdog._

Sejun understands why his soulmark is the way it is. First introductions are important and the way he butted in, in Josh and the dancer's conversation _was_ quite rude.

He thought that the guy would have a sense of humor and laugh at his joke, but turns out that's not the case. He thinks it makes sense now why his soulmate would react that way.

Ah, he really did fuck up, didn't he?

Sejun groans at his predicament, pacing in the locker room and running his fingers through his hair. He's been cooped up alone in the room for half an hour already, shooing Stell and Justin away. Josh hasn't come to check on him yet, probably still with the dancer for his audition like a temporary handler.

_Eh gago ka pala eh!_

Sejun hisses at that. The dancer's voice now etched into his mind. So it wasn't just the way he danced. Stell and Justin had been mesmerized by how good a dancer he was and Sejun agrees that he is, but the moment he started dancing, Sejun's soul woke up to yearning.

As if on instinct, his soul recognized its other half.

Watching the dancer practice, Sejun had felt seduced and strangely, he had felt like he was almost home. He had wanted to come closer, watch and hear better but Stell and Justin's constant praises had been keeping him from delving into the urge. So he had stood from afar, had carefully kept his face indifferent because he feared he had been looking at the dancer like some kind of pervert.

The dancer sang well too. His deep voice like an old song in Sejun's memory. He knew that voice. More specifically, his _soul_ knew that voice. And it had been akin to being sung a lullaby.

Well, up until the end where the dancer's voice cracked and Sejun's OCD reared its ugly head.

He couldn't help the offended look that painted his face at the mistake and he's sure that the dancer, on instinct, sought his reaction and lost his confidence upon seeing his face. Sejun felt sorry. Still _feels_ sorry for his constipated expression and it's burning him from the inside along with the feeling of guilt.

Who in the world would aggravate their own soulmate?

Apparently, Sejun did, and he feels horrible for it.

He's stuck in this dilemma until the dancer's 21st birthday and he recognizes the word that would mark him for life. _Hakdog._ Sejun hopes that his soulmate would forgive him for the stupid first word that he would have to carry on his skin, because he as sure as shit has already forgiven the dancer for the words on his wrist.

It's his own fault after all.

**++++**

The locker room proved to be suffocating for him, because standing in the back alley of their company building; Sejun keeps running his free hand through his hair while the other holds a cigarette.

He knows it's bad for his throat but he can't help it. His anxiety with this soulmate thing has him on edge and feeling pathetic. He rarely ever smokes, it was just a crutch he developed in college when thesis group members grated on his patience with their uncooperative tendencies. He quit it altogether after graduating.

But now the situation calls for a hit, the smoke curling around his wrist with the soulmark, mocking him of his fate.

Without reading the words on his skin, he can see it clear as day in his mind, accompanied with the dancer's voice now that the words had been said to his face.

Sejun wonders when the dancer's birthday would be. When he'll see that single stupid word branded on his skin. When he would realize just _who_ his soulmate is and what he had said in turn.

It's disastrous. Something embarrassing when people would ask how they met their soulmates. How do you even tell people that your bond was doomed from the beginning?

Sejun growls low in his throat at the thought. He takes another hit of his cigarette, refusing to exhale the smoke so it could burn, burn, _burn_.

"Lead vocal ka diba? Lakas ng loob mong mag yosi ah."

Sejun jumps at that. He chokes on the smoke, bringing tears to his eyes as he coughs. He throws away the cigarette, stomping on it and grinding it with the heel of his boot.

"Pake mo ba?" Sejun sneers, turning to face the one person he doesn't want to see at the moment.

They say that once you meet your soulmate, you'll never get to live a day not wanting to see them again. It seems that he's the exception to that because soulmate or not, the dancer's face is such a pretty thing and it sparks something ugly in Sejun.

"Sejun, diba?" The dancer asks and Sejun watches him approach, stopping a few feet away from him.

"Oo."

"Ken," the dancer reveals and Sejun greedily accepts the name despite the animosity between them.

"Oh, ano gusto mo gawin? Suntukan? Gagohan? Nag sorry na ko," Sejun spites. "Ulitin ko pa ba?"

Ken frowns at him.

"Pasok ako. Share ko lang baka kasi bukas pag pasok ko sa practice angasan mo nanaman ako," Ken tells him rather indifferently but Sejun senses the warning in his tone.

He feels like he wants to take back the apology he said a while earlier. This soulmate of his is unapologetic. He's the one who cursed him in the first place, now he has the audacity to tell him off?

_Edi sige,_ Sejunthinks. _Pag lumabas yung_ hakdog _sa balat mo at hinanap mo ako, tatanggihan kita. Angas pala hanap mo. Sige._

Sejun glares at Ken, walking past him and bumping shoulders. He expected Ken to get riled up with the action but Ken lets him through without a fuss.

Pocketing his fists, the leader storms back into the studio. Trying valiantly to stop thinking about Ken and his stupid handsome face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I thought smoking Sejun is hot, but please don't abuse smoking, especially if you have weak lungs and throat. Lalo na kung boses and puhunan. And Sejun does NOT smoke by the way (from what I assume and know).
> 
> Next update on saturday! Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think? :)


	4. Ken: JP

Ken doesn't understand why Sejun has put a bounty on his head. The bounty in question, is the leader's ire for him. The other guys were nice and funny, they thought him a little weird but they still like him nonetheless. But Sejun. Sejun Sejun _Sejun_.

Sejun lit a cigarette after meeting him. 

That bothers Ken the most. He asked the other members if they drink or smoke. Drink, occasionally yes, but not smoke. Never smoke. They all know how smoking affects their ability to sing and according to them, Sejun is the strictest person in the group about it.

Stell had briefed him what their roles in the group were, and it surprised Ken that Sejun just disregarded being the lead vocalist in favor of alleviating his displeasure with him.

Somehow, Ken feels responsible. 

It's not just because he's worried about Sejun getting scolded, he's more worried about the leader's voice getting wrecked. He can't let that happen.

So with humility, he arrives at the studio the next day with a plan.

"Good morning," he greets some of the staff as he enters and immediately sees the other men huddled in the studio playing games on their phones.

Checking his watch to make sure he isn't late, Ken notes that he _is_ five minutes late. He knocks on the door sheepishly to get their attention and all heads snap to him.

"Oi, Ken!" Josh waves.

"Morning pre," Justin greets.

"Good morning!" Stell smiles at him.

Ken grins back at the three of them but he doesn't see Sejun.

"Nasan si Sejun?" He asks and the three share a look.

"Late?" Stell answers, and Josh and Justin only shrug.

"Which is unusual kasi sya lagi nauuna dumating, so baka absent?" Justin says scratching his head. 

"Di ah. Kung absent sya mag tetext yon," Josh answers while checking his phone. He shakes his head after a few seconds. "Wala, walang text. Late yon."

Ken nods slowly, trusting the men on news about Sejun. It doesn't matter that the leader is late, what's important is that Sejun is present for his plan to work.

They prepare for warm ups and the men show Ken how to do it properly. The warm ups require some stretching and flexibility, and Ken finds himself struggling on that part. Fortunately, Justin the youngest is very friendly, walking him through the stretches and helping him reach a certain flexibility he has never quite achieved before.

An hour passes by and the men start teaching Ken a few choreographies that they plan to cover. As a dancer with a natural flow to his body, Ken gets the dances immediately. 

Stell is very impressed with him, even going as far as asking him to change a part of their outdated choreography for their unreleased song.

Honored to have a little participation on a project, Ken agrees.

"Bluetooth ko sayo yung latest dance practice ng LG namin," Stell says and gestures for Ken to open his Bluetooth. "Para may idea ka."

"Ge, ge," Ken nods and does as told. The video is sent successfully and Ken watches the dance practice.

There are five guys, their hair colors and styles are different but Ken recognizes four of them. There's Josh, Justin, Stell, and of course, Sejun. But the fifth guy he doesn't know.

The dance looks cool and snappy. Ken finds himself liking it and already he's thinking of a few moves that he could add but the longer he watches, the more his eyes land on the unknown fifth guy. Curiosity opens his mouth to ask:

"Sino 'tong isang member?"

The three guys whip their heads to him in surprise. None of them answer for a moment, hesitation written on their faces and Ken feels like he's overstepped a boundary.

He's about to apologize and say it's not his business but Josh speaks up.

"Si JP."

"JP?" Ken echoes. "Ahh, oka—"

"Soulmate ni Sejun."

" _Soulmate ni Sejun_?" Ken blurts in shock. He feels oddly unsettled by that.

"Oo, kaso umalis na sya," Stell pipes up.

"Bakit umalis? I mean, hanggang ngayon naman close padin sila ni Sejun diba?" Ken asks, increasingly becoming invested about something that's related to Sejun.

"Oo, close padin," Justin comments. "Kaso hindi na nya kinaya mag intay ng debut namin eh, may pressure na rin kasi sa kanya... Kaya umalis."

"Oh..." Ken deflates. He's not sure why but he's disappointed about Sejun having a soulmate.

"Wala namang issue sa kanilang dalawa, sadyang hindi lang talaga kinaya ni JP mag intay sa debut namin. Which is unfortunate," Stell says regrettably.

There is silence for a while, the men letting Ken process the information. Ken nods absentmindedly at the new dump of Sejun info. Trying to equate rude and angry Sejun to an attentive soulmate who, despite being separated from his other half, still finds ways to be with them, he thinks he can't really see Sejun as that kind of person.

_Huh, akalain mo yun. May soulmate pala si Sejun—_

"Anong soulmate? Soulmate nino?" A voice barges into the room, ripping Ken from his thoughts.

_Ah, shit. Did I say that out loud?_ Ken thinks.

Sejun stands in the doorway, bag in hand and face in a scowl as he looks at Ken. The leader approaches him, strides confident and purposeful.

Ken feels his breathe catch in his throat at how _beautiful_ Sejun's stormy face is. He exhales to get rid of the air stuck in his chest as Sejun stops a step and a half away in front of him. Inhaling, he picks up the scent of cigarettes taking him back momentarily to the company's back alley with an infuriated Sejun.

_"Lead vocal ka diba? Lakas ng loob mong mag yosi ah."_

_"Pake mo ba?"_

Ken wants to fight him. He _really_ does, but then part of his plan is not to engage in pissing matches with Sejun, so he shuts his mouth. Biting back the retort about cigarettes, he shakes his head.

"Wala," Ken dismisses indifferently, hoping that Sejun understands that he is backing down.

"Ano nga yon? Tungkol sa soulmate ko?" Sejun asks sharply and Ken reads this as Sejun misunderstanding the situation; that Sejun thinks he is talking shit about JP.

Ken feels the leader's scrutinizing eyes on him. Cornering him. Daring him to speak about some sort of taboo.

And isn't it taboo to discuss about one's soulmate? It's not illegal and was once a private matter but it is now the modern world. Countless celebrities and politicians' soulmates are talked about in the news; Sejun's wouldn't be anything different.

But the way the leader _demands_ for the issue as if he _knows_ that Ken is bad mouthing his soulmate and is ready to defend him for it, has his previous disposition flying out the window.

Ken scowls haughtily at the leader. It's one of the many reasons why Sejun stands out for him. Without provocations or insults, Sejun makes him want to _rebel_. Plan be damned, his blood boils at Sejun's laser focus attention on him.

"Yung soulmate mo daw. Si _JP,_ " Ken almost sneers the name. From nowhere, a huge wave of envy rolls over him, empowering him against Sejun's retort but the expression on the leader's face knocks him off guard.

Sejun's brows are high on his forehead, his mouth hanging open in shock. Ken feels bad for a second but he refuses to be, so he holds onto his anger, he mustn’t let Sejun see him waver.

"Si JP? Ken, hindi siy—" Sejun cuts himself off with a disbelieving scoff. "Hindi siya. Ik- Ika— _tangina_!"

Sejun storms away from him to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. The other three men stand there, frightened into silence by Sejun's outburst.

Ken exhales through his nose. Being in this group is going to be difficult just because of one single infuriating person. His plan just went down the drain, but maybe he could still salvage it as long as Sejun isn't part of it.

Let Sejun come on his own. Ken is done trying to be nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just to be clear, the JP mentioned here is former ShowBT trainee JP Soliva (now with PHP) who I kinda ship with Sejun, JPxJP everyone!
> 
> Originally, 9490 dapat title nito (guess why lmao). But then I thought, that's a bit too short and a little vague, kaya I changed it to what it is now. The title of this fic is a lyric from Jaymes Young's song: Don't You Know.


	5. Sejun: tOgEtHeR + Kainin mo ang aking—

"Yung soulmate mo daw. Si _JP_ ," Ken tells him acidly.

Did he hear that right? Ken thinks that JP is his soulmate. JP, short for John Paul, the almost SB19 lead vocal leaving him with the designation of rapper. Talented JP, their once member who left due to hopelessness at their repeated debut postponements. Loveable JP, who shares _almost_ the same name as him.

Painfully _beautiful_ JP, who has _J o h n P a u l o_ written on the skin of his left ring finger in pretty calligraphic strokes.

The thought of JP leaving and the group almost disbanding has him feeling the residual lose, but it's swept away quickly by the look on Ken's face. Ken may not know it yet but his soul is crying out in betrayal, because his face is saturated in unadulterated despair.

Sejun feels cold upon seeing that despair. Like he wants to take back all the bad things he's thought about Ken and just pour the warmth of his very being into this person. This person who shares his soul.

"Si JP? Ken, hindi siy—" Sejun scoffs disbelievingly. The denial was quick to escape his mouth as if he's trying to prove to his soulmate that he would never betray him. "Hindi siya. Ik- Ika— _tangina_!"

With a growl of frustration, he turns his back on Ken and marches into the comfort room. He shuts the door behind him, drops his bag on the floor, and twists the faucet open. The water is cold as it splashes on his face, soothing his flushed skin.

_Hindi si JP, Ken. Ikaw._ **_Ikaw._**

JP didn't curse at him when they first met. He asked if he wanted to join his group and Sejun had answered with, _Pwede naman._ And those words aren't written anywhere on JP. It's just a coincidence that his name is on JP's skin. Maybe his soulmate got his name wrong that's why it's _John Paulo,_ who knows!

Sejun is absolutely certain that Ken is his soulmate. He knows it in his bones, knows it in the way that his blood _sings_ for Ken's attention, good or bad. Isn't the words on his wrist proof enough already?

Sighing, he rests his palms on the granite top, hanging his head in weariness. Droplets of water trickle down from his forearm to his hands, drawing his attention to the ring of words on his skin.

_"Eh gago ka pala eh!"_

Ken's voice rings in his head again. Absentmindedly, he reads the words repeatedly. He's too absorbed in the task that he fails to notice that the color has changed. He notices only when he's read it over a hundred times now and the water has already dried.

Sejun gasps as his mind registers the change. He cradles his wrist to his chest, eyes wide as he traces the soulmark with his gaze.

Gone is the pale orange color, replaced by a shining deep red, almost like silk with its sheen.

If this isn't the ultimate evidence that Ken is his soulmate then there's no denying it. Soulmarks only darken when in close proximity with the soulmate. JP has never turned his mark this dark. This—this is Ken's doing.

Sejun laughs at the absurdity of his situation. What is he to do with his soulmate? Ken hates him. Absolutely hates him just because Sejun decided to be a little shit that one time, and crack that _hakdog_ joke at the wrong time. How long is he going to wait for Ken to turn 21 and realize that they are meant to be _together_?

_tOgEtHeR ampota._

Sejun sighs heavily, scratching the back of his head in frustration.

"Haha," he sighs once more. " _Fuck_."

**++++**

He doesn't know it yet but it turns out, he doesn't have to wait that long.

Lunch time rolls around and practicing separately with Stell on the other side of the studio, far from Ken and the JoshTin duo has him feeling tired as if he ran from Cavite to Makati. Actively avoiding a person is a lot more draining than he expected.

Sejun starts pulling out his lunch box only to stop when Ken approaches him and Stell.

"Sabi ni Josh may Jollibee daw malapit dito. Tara kain? Libre ko," Ken tells them but he's not looking at Sejun only at Stell.

"Manlilibre ka?" Stell asks, pleasantly surprised.

"Oo, seryoso," Ken grins.

Stell jumps for joy, excited and thanking Ken profusely. He follows Ken to the other side of the studio, chatting enthusiastically with Josh and Justin about Ken's generosity. Sejun sits there, lunch box in hand and mind running a hundred kilometers per second.

Is he... Is he invited?

Probably not because he exploded at Ken earlier. But Ken approached them both? Although he was only looking at Stell. But he was addressing the both of them? Well, Ken technically didn't talk to him though.

Sejun runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. He watches the men prepare to leave. He only has a few seconds to decide whether he stays and eat lunch alone or tag along and bring his own food.

He sees Josh lead the way and Stell and Ken following after, Justin lags behind as he pockets his phone and wallet. Only the two of them left in the room and Sejun makes his decision.

He stands up, hugging his lunchbox to his chest and stomping after them. Even if he's not invited, he sure as shit ain't going to eat all by himself like a loser.

**++++**

"Bakit ba kayo nagsisiksikan jan eh ang laki laki ng space sa tabi ko oh."

"Uhm, Sejun. Tabi nalang kayo ni Ken," Stell informs him.

They are sitting in a booth that's good for four people but Josh, Justin, and Stell thought it was a good idea to cram themselves on the opposite sofa, leaving Sejun alone on the other side. Obviously, they're aiming for Ken to occupy the empty space next to Sejun so that the two could work things out over food.

With the table still void of the actual food except for Sejun's lunchbox, the three other men wait for Ken to arrive with the order.

Sejun on the other hand, keeps flicking the lock of his lunch box open and shut.

"Ang bait ni Ken no? Lilibre nya tayo," Justin says with a smile.

"Ako din kaya mabait, nanlibre ako ice cream last week," Josh replies teasingly.

"Pero mas mabait si Ken kasi 2 days palang natin sya kilala eh nanlibre na agad," Stell points out.

Josh rolls his eyes but Sejun knows he's in agreement with Stell by the way his lips quirk in a smile.

"Ako din mabait," Sejun scoffs. "Nag she-share ako ng baon ko."

"Awit, thank you kay Tita Grace!" Stell laughs.

Sejun smiles at that.

The three suddenly whip their heads to the side, their faces lighting up.

"Ayan na si Ken! Tulungan natin ang dami buhat," Justin says and they stand to intercept Ken with the orders.

Sejun watches them. Ken is carrying a tray with two buckets and a bunch of rice packs. Josh takes the tray from him while Justin and Stell retrieve two more trays from the counter.

Ken approaches their booth with an excited smile. Sejun keeps his face indifferent. The dancer begins to slide in the sofa opposite Sejun but Josh beats him to it.

"Ops ops, sorry Ken, pwesto namin tatlo dito," Josh grins widely as he places the tray down on the table and squeezes into the booth, blocking Ken from sitting.

"May seating arrangement kasi," Stell adds as he arrives with a tray full of drinks. He slides next to Josh, smiling sweetly at Ken.

"Since nanlibre ka naman, dapat hindi ka namin gipitin sa upuan," Justin says wisely, placing his tray full of sundaes, plates, and utensils down. "Maluwag sa pwesto ni Sejun oh."

Justin points at the empty space beside Sejun and Ken takes notice of the quiet leader. The dancer smirks at him and Sejun preens subconsciously at the positive attention.

Ken plops next to Sejun, his expression looking pleased with the leader's decision to come.

"Okay. So dalawang bucket ng six pieces chicken, tapos fifteen rice. Coke yung drinks tapos since special day today, may ice cream!" Ken says as he starts to arrange the plates.

The three men help to decimate the utensils and drinks. Chattering excitedly about all the food laid out. All the while, Sejun sits quietly in his corner, observing his groupmates.

"Ayan! Okay na!" Stell announces and the JoshTin duo cheers.

"So pwede na ba magstart?" Josh reaches for a rice pack but Justin swats his hand away.

"Oi, oi, si Ken muna!" The youngest scolds and Josh snatches his hand back sheepishly.

"Ken?" Justin prompts and Ken nods.

"Pray muna tayo," the dancer says softly and the three men look to Sejun.

Sejun raises a brow at them and he looks at Ken. Asking for permission maybe, or waiting for Ken to snob him and lead the prayer himself, Sejun doesn't know why his eyes sought Ken for approval.

But judging by how the men deferred to Sejun, Ken seems to understand that it's usually Sejun that leads the prayer, so wordlessly, he gestures for Sejun to do so.

With a small shy smile, Sejun prays. He thanks the Lord for their food, thanks their group for holding out for their dreams, thanks the safety of everyone in the company, and lastly and a little begrudgingly, thanks the Lord for the addition of Ken into their group.

"Amen!" The five of them says heartily.

"Thank you, Ken!" The three men say and it makes Sejun feel out of place.

The leader opens his lunch box, smiling at the sinigang in a separate box, and the hotdogs in the smaller compartment. He is pulling out his spoon and fork when a chicken thigh is gently dropped onto his rice box.

Sejun blinks at the hand that placed the chicken, tracing the origin of the limb to the man beside him. Ken with an indifferent face, is carefully watching him for his reaction. Sejun's mind stutters.

Ken just gave him a chicken!

A chicken which he was sure he'll never get since he already has his own food. Or rather, he believed Ken would be ignoring him over the whole of lunch time even though they were sitting together. He was determined to do exactly that and maintain the status quo of pretending his soulmate doesn't exist.

But there's a scrumptious looking chicken on his plate courtesy of Ken! What does he do? He's been staring at Ken for too long now, mind in panic and heart pounding. He's not sure how to even react. Ignore the chicken? Thank the dancer? Eat the chicken without acknowledging the benefactor?

_Shit shit shit._ Ken is pulling his hand away now. Honestly, he wants to thank him but he doesn't know what to say! Sejun opens and closes his mouth but no words come forth. He sees disappointment flash in Ken's eyes, his body turning away from him, closing himself from the leader.

Sejun's hand shots to clasp on Ken's shoulder, stopping his retreat.

"Kainin mo hotdog ko," Sejun blurts out.

The four guys stop in their tracks. The chicken skin on the way to Stell's mouth is left hanging.

Ken frowns at him, unsure how to respond to _that_.

"I... I mean! Yung—yung ulam ko! Sayo na ang hotdog ko— _ULAM ko_! Ulam ko, hindi yung—hindi yung hotdog. I mean, oo yung hotdog pero hindi yung, ano, yung— _ano_ ko," Sejun struggles, frustrated and embarrassed of what he just said.

Ken just stares at him, brows furrowed and mouth in a thin line, is that displeasure written on his face? Sejun would never know. But a beat passes and Ken reaches for the hotdogs and Sejun surrenders his favorite food.

"Thank you," Ken says quietly and Sejun is hit with the sincerity of it. He nods dumbly.

"Thank you din," he mumbles awkwardly.

The three guys giggle and Sejun feels shy all of a sudden. He and Ken have never been this cordial, it feels so odd. One slow and mortifying step at a time. He wouldn't admit it, but Sejun is pleased with this small step forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: JP's soulmark in this is 'John Paulo' but Sejun isn't his soulmate. As written, JP's soulmate probably made a mistake with his name, instead of 'John Paul' he was greeted with 'John Paulo'. Kinabahan ka no? HAHAHA
> 
> And excuse the kalat 101: "kainin mo ang hotdog ko" -John Paulo Nase, 2k20, is the best thing I've ever written. uwu


	6. Ken: Happy Birthday!

Ah, so his plan worked. 

Ken is amazed that despite the argument (if you could call it that) earlier, he managed to include Sejun in his little party. The plan was simple. Treat the men to lunch—Sejun has to come—to resolve this animosity between him and their leader.

If that plan failed, well, he can always ask the others about their _bugnuting_ leader. Since he managed to string Sejun along, he has to be on his best behavior.

He eats the hotdogs that Sejun gave him in exchange for the chicken. Chewing thoughtfully as he watches the men joke around while eating enthusiastically, Ken feels like he belongs. He's been in groups before but this band of talented men makes him feel needed. Like he was the only one they were waiting for to fit the bill.

Erm, maybe except for Sejun though. Ken's still not sure why the two of them don't mix; they're oil and water personified. Sighing, he reaches for his coke and notices that there's still one glass of the beverage left untouched. He ordered enough for five people, seeing as the four of them already have their own, Ken takes the glass sliding it casually towards Sejun.

"Di ako nag order—" Sejun begins to protest.

"Sayo din yan," Ken cuts him off gently. "Pati eto."

He reaches for one of the sundaes and places it before Sejun. The look of surprise on his face was gratifying. It felt like earning a well-deserved reward.

Sejun is speechless again, blinking at him uncertainly and Ken finds it cute. The dancer smiles but he becomes self-conscious and fights to erase the grin that threatens to split his face.

"Salamat," Sejun tells him quietly and Ken can't help but grin completely.

"Ah, Ken, Ken!" Justin calls.

"Hm?"

"Ano meron bakit mo kami nilibre?"

"Bakit kailangan ba ng dahilan para manlibre? Di ba pwedeng busilak lang talaga ang puso nya?" Stell jokes and Josh giggles. "Which is totoo naman. Diba, Ken?"

Ken only laughs.

"So wala lang? Kasi mabait talaga si Ken?" Justin tries to clarify.

"Kasi birthday nya ngayon!" Josh tells them.

Sejun chokes on his food. 

"Oi, Sejun! Okay ka lang? Josh asks. "Tubig, tubig! Jah kuha ka tubig dali!"

The youngest member scrambles to get water as Sejun coughs violently, hitting his chest with a fist. Ken awkwardly tries to pat him on the back, unsure of what to do. Justin arrives with a glass of water which he quickly gives to the leader.

Sejun takes it gratefully, slowly gulping in the beginning but gradually picking up the pace until he has emptied the glass. He slams the glass on the table, heaving a deep exhale and then coughing once.

Ken hands him a napkin to wipe the stray water on his chin and Sejun takes it distractedly.

"Okay ka lang?" The dancer asks with an unbothered tone but who is he kidding? His eyes are filled with worry. He watches as Sejun shakes his head minutely but nod enthusiastically after. It seems that the leader doesn't want him to think that choking on his food was a big bad thing. The tears of exertion in his eyes beg to differ.

"Ayos lang, ayos lang," Sejun replies voice rough, waving the four of them off.

"Ah, so birthday ni Ken ngayon?" Justin asks excitedly. "Wait, wait, ilan taon ka na?"

"Twenty one."

"Edi may mark ka na?"

"Mark?" What mark are they talking about? 

"Oo, diba yung mark, yung pag may soulmate ka," Justin tells him as if he is a child.

_Ah_. He meant the soulmark.

"Ewan ko, di ko pa nacheck," Ken shrugs but Justin looks like he's too stoked for just a shrug.

"Tingnan natin ngayon, dali!" Justin stands up, tugging on Ken's sleeve.

"Oi, oi! B'at mo hinuhubaran?!" Josh jokes and Stell laughs.

From the corner of his eyes, Ken sees Sejun frown at Justin.

"Tingnan lang natin. Malay mo isa sa 'tin ang soulmate ni Ken," Justin says excitedly.

"Bakit, gusto mo ba ikaw?" Stell smirks knowingly at the youngest, and Justin actually blushes.

"Curious lang!" Comes Justin's embarrassed reply.

"Weeeh?" Josh goads and it makes Justin back down with a pout. He pulls his hands away from Ken, sitting down in defeat. 

Ken giggles at their antics.

"Okay lang yan, Jah. Mamaya pag uwi ko check ko. Malay natin baka ikaw talaga soulmate ko," Ken jests, and quick as lightning, a lunchbox containing _sinigang_ is shoved next to his plate.

" _Kainin mo sinigang ko,_ " Sejun tells him angrily, not looking at him and chewing rather furiously.

What's with him all of a sudden? Weren't they on _thank you_ terms just a moment ago?

Is this. . . Is this irritation at Justin he's sensing?

Ken may be an airhead but he knows that Justin is as harmless as a fly. Why Sejun is subtly being resentful, Ken doesn't know. He discreetly observes the leader just to be sure.

Sejun has now forgone chewing furiously, he is straight up swallowing spoonfuls of his food, digging the poor utensil into his rice like he has been waiting to murder it his whole life. He refuses to look at Ken who's making it obvious that he is watching the leader.

_Makuha ka sa tingin. Pag lumingon ka, akin ka._ Ken thinks jokingly, but as if Sejun can hear his thoughts, the leader doesn't even dare chance a glance at him.

Ken purses his lips in exasperation.

"Or baka si Sejun ang soulmate ko," he says, mock accusing.

Sejun chokes on his food again, and this time, Ken is the one that hands him a glass of water.

"Inom, inom," Ken says and Sejun accepts the drink eagerly.

"Sejun, okay ka lang ba?" Stell asks in concern while the other men look on worriedly.

This must be an unusual occurrence then, if the three other members are troubled by how Sejun is acting. Ken should retract the jokes for now.

"Joke lang. Di mabiro 'to eh," Ken says flippantly as Sejun finally clears his throat.

The leader laughs nervously at him and Ken takes it as Sejun trying to look cool after another hiccup.

"Oo. Joke, ha ha," the leader nods awkwardly, patting his chest and coughing.

Returning to his meal and scooping some of the _sinigang_ onto his plate, Ken leaves it at that. Sejun continues to munch on his food, looking lost in thought and Ken swears he heard a muttered _"sana all joke lang"_ from him, but he's not too sure because it was too quiet and soft.

Whatever that meant, Ken feels like he chipped off a block from the wall that separates him and Sejun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: These two honestly. Hot and cold. Upload ko na din next chapter. uwu


	7. Ken: Soulmark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Two updates in one day?

After his birthday treat, the five of them returned to the studio and practiced. Ken this time, tried to include Sejun whenever he told them a story but it seemed like Sejun's mind was far away.

It's not that Sejun didn't like Ken's company like he first did, it was more like, the leader was trapped somewhere in his mind palace.

Ken spent the rest of the day subtly trying to break Sejun out of it but to no avail. Whatever it was, Sejun looked like he was gathering himself and preparing for an incoming storm.

Returning home to his aunt's place, Ken tiredly drops on his bed. He scratches his left chest, it had been itching like crazy since lunch and the last time he checked, Sejun's _sinigang_ was pork and not shrimp. There weren't any reasons for his allergies to act up.

Scratching furiously at his chest, he sighs and decides to take a shower. It's probably just the dried sweat that's causing the itch.

He gets into the CR with his towel, locking the door and stripping off his shirt. He scratches his bare chest and feels relieved at the sensation. The itch goes away and Ken looks down at his chest wondering if the scuffing has left his skin red and irritated.

_The fuck?_

There's a deep red gash on his chest. A gash that spans the estimated size of his heart. He glares at the flaw and ponders how hard had he been scratching to get it this big and red.

Pursing his lips, he opens the faucet and splashes some water on the gash. Curiously, the longer he observes it, the clearer it looks. Come to think of it, it doesn't look like a gash. And that's when it hits him.

It's his soulmark.

Ken gasps in amazement. He believed that only special people had them, that a select few had a soulmate because he has never seen one in person. He's only ever seen them in movies. Not even his grandparents have shown him their marks. 

So it comes as a surprise to Ken that the mark is there, clear and _red_. It means that he has recently met them.

He plasters himself to the bathroom mirror in excitement, wiping the fog and staring at his chest.

On his reflection, it's in reverse so he has to squint his eyes at the words. They're written in a fairly readable handwriting, with seven lines and shaped like his heart. The sanguine color on his skin almost makes it look like a tattoo.

**_pre tapos na yung_ **

**_pila ng free foods and drinks_ **

**_di ka daw nakakuha sabi ng kagrupo_ **

**_mo volunteer ako kinuhanan nalang kita lalagay_ **

**_ko nalang dito sa tabi ng bag mo ha eat_ **

**_well congrats pala sa first prize_ **

**_tsaka ingat sa pag uwi_**

Huh, his soulmate seems thoughtful. In the seven lines written on his chest right where his heart is, Ken feels the care his soulmate had shown to him on their first meeting. His soulmate made the effort of providing him with sustenance when he was unavailable, congratulated and bid him safe travel even when they were strangers.

He feels warm and soft at that. Happy that he has such a kind soulmate. He smiles goofily at his soulmark, rubbing on it to make sure that it's real and cannot be erased.

Ken already wants to profess his love, feeling giddy and excited.

So very excited.

Well, up until the moment he realizes that he doesn't remember meeting anyone who said those words to his face.

_Tangina?_ Who was the person who said those words to him?

Ken remembers being eighteen, hair dyed a brilliant red and sweaty from his group performance. He had told his groupmates that he would change his clothes and to wait for him. But at that time, he couldn't locate the closest CR and had to ask one of the competition organizers if he could use their exclusive bathroom.

He was allowed in due to being one of the winners. Leaving his bag by the booth door, he had entered and began to change his clothes; when he heard the outer door slam open, and a boy knock on his booth door.

_"Pre, tapos na yung pila ng free foods and drink. Di ka daw nakakuha sabi ng kagrupo mo. Volunteer ako. Kinuhanan nalang kita, lalagay ko nalang dito sa tabi ng bag mo ha. Eat well. Congrats pala sa first prize! Tsaka ingat sa pag uwi!"_ The boy had said without even confirming if Ken was the one he was giving the food to, and had left as quickly as he had come.

Ken remembers not even squeaking a hurried _thank you_ in the boy's haste to leave. He remembers getting back to his groupmates with two packs of the free food and an extra juice bottle, getting teased by his groupmates that the volunteer who gave him his share must have had a crush on him.

He had only smiled shyly and vowed to find out who the generous volunteer was.

That was three years ago and Ken still has not found that person.

If only there wasn't a door between them, then Ken would have seen their face that day.

He sighs dejectedly. He has no clue who his soulmate could be. The only lead he has is his soulmark's deep red color signifying he has met this person recently.

He racks his head for any more clues but he's too tired to think after the emotional revelations of his soulmark. Ken resolves to figure this out tomorrow so he takes his shower and heads to bed.

He dreams of his soulmate's voice uttering his soulmark.

_~~"Pre, tapos na yung pila ng free foods and drink. Di ka daw nakakuha sabi ng kagrupo mo. Volunteer~~_ **ako** _. ~~Kinuhanan~~_ **nalang** _~~kita, lalagay ko nalang dito~~_ **sa tabi** _~~ng bag~~_ **mo** _~~ha. Eat well. Congrats pala sa first prize! Tsaka ingat sa pag uwi!"~~_

Some words were too blurry in his mind and some were clearer. It was spoken with Sejun's voice but Ken wouldn't remember that. After all, it was one of those dreams where memories get stitched together to create a story.

It makes sense because it's his birthday and the soulmark came like clockwork, and the only person who made a strong impression on him these past two days was Sejun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ang dami kong ongoing huhu di ko alam ano uunahin kong iupdate next. 
> 
> Sorry for the plug pero endorse ko dito JoshTin au ko uwu
> 
> × Your Mark On Me ×
> 
> Vampire JoshTin AU: After recruiting college student Justin—who keeps on staring at his neck and covering his nose as if Josh's scent has offended him—Josh has been waking up to puncture wounds and blood on his wrist every single morning.
> 
> (https://twitter.com/ali_nasejun/status/1264201959923302401)
> 
> And meron din akong SeKen aus on twitter too! Just visit my pinned thread of threads, and find my AU thread! <3
> 
> Thank you for reading! xxoo
> 
> -ali_nasejun


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